FiFtyFirst

Thank you for sharing your time with me this special moment of my life. Today is my first time ever to celebrate this occasion. Today being my birthday for which I have not and intentionally did not celebrated for the past 50 years for reasons melancholical for me to express. But having lived a good life after all; Having gotten perhaps most of the things that I needed and wanted in life.....it has been a happy life. And there's so much to be thankful of.  I still have some dreams though that I wish to achieve.  But regardless....... Today, on my 51st birthday anything disappointing of my expectation is immaterial. Now is the time to say THANK YOU in the truest sense of it. 

Thank you tatay.  Though you are not around anymore. I know I did not fail you and in fact you were proud being my father. You were my first fan. And I am equally proud of you being my mentor.

To nanay for your unending patience on me. You were my exact opposite in many ways. But whenever I asked help from you to do things for me.....you never questioned it. 

Thank you ate for your surrendering laughter. It reminded me that failures in life are just punchlines to laugh about. It then motivated me to rise up and face life's battle and start over, fresh and vigorous.

Thank you Cocoy for appreciating me as your kuya. Though you seldom ask help from me, you treated me as the next father to your children.  Recognized and respected by your children the same way they admire  you as a father.

Thank you most of all to Debbie, my wife. You may not know it and may not believe but really you are my life. You are the very reason why I should be living. I am happy when you are and grieve when you feel lonely. You listened to me all the time.  You are the person whom I always wish to come home to and tell my crazy experiences and laugh or even cry at them.  During my loneliest and darkest moments, you compel me to smile and cut short my anguish then motivate me to stand over them and be a winner that I dreamt of me to be. You are more than a gift a man could ask from God for a wife. A gift I could not ask for anything anymore. 

To my relatives who never turned my back at me, you know who you are. Thank you for the wonderful memories of our youth. I felt genuine happiness with you. I sometimes wish if we could still do such crazy things as before. It was madness when we are all together and I thank you for that!

To my friends from way before and friends from today too many of you to mention.  You are the numerous paints I have put on my palette. I have chosen you to become part of my canvass.  My life's work of art. as being drawn on a canvass and still becoming colorful because of you. Be it pastel, kayong mga burgis, be it water color, kayong mga struggling for success, or be it in oil kayong mga sulit na sa buhay at meron nang ibang prayoridad, o kahit charcoal sketch lang....mga kasamahan kong putik na malayang hinaharap ang buhay sa kabila ng kawalan. Salamat, ipinadama nyo sa akin kung sino ako. Mas naintindihan ko ang buhay dahil sa inyo.

Sa mga hindi ko pa nakikilala nang personal ngunit kinikilala o pinaniniwalaan ako sa mga desisyon ko. Salamat. Sa mga taong umaasa na pumalya ako sa mga gawain ko, nagigiliw na makita akong nahihirapan...salamat po. Kayo ang naging compelling reason kung bakit nagpilit akong pagtagumpayan ang bawat larangang hinarap ko. Upang ipakita sa inyo na nasa katuwiran ako at kaya ko.  Sa huli ang tanging nais ko ay unawain o maunawaan lamang. Na ako'y pangkaraniwang tao din sa kabila ng mga iniisip at kinagigiliwan. Gusto lang magbahagi ng ibang anyo kung paano isabuhay ang mga bagay na hindi ninyo nakagawiang alamin o tangkilikin. 

To all of you, my heartfelt thanks. 

And for those of you whom in one way or the other somehow I did wrong or broke your heart. Please consider my sincerest apology and release me from that guilt so we may now move on with our lives with no burden or unwanted baggages. Forgive me please.

Yes at 51 I realized I have neglected some important things that I should have done then but I did not put much emphasis on. Today, as I lucidly reminded myself, though it is a little late somehow I still thank the Lord for the que.  I wish those things though trivial this time can still stay inside me during this lifetime.

SPOKEN WORD POETRY

VISUAL ARTS

VIOLIN VIRTUOSO

WORRY-FREE TOMORROW